


Love That I'll Never Let Go

by rookie_musicbox



Series: Shinwon's world [1]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 09:59:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rookie_musicbox/pseuds/rookie_musicbox
Summary: Everyone had their own problems and his member's wellbeing was Shinwon's problem. But it wasn't a problem to him. It was a calling.In which Shinwon wants to make sure Hui is okay





	Love That I'll Never Let Go

Being a self-composing idol was stressful. It was a whole package of composing, choreographing, comeback, promotions, endless practice, sleepless nights and tiredness. 

Everyone assumed that Hui could handle it all. He was a leader after all. Strong, bright Hui with a gifted musical mind who acted goofy around his members, who proudly lead his members to fame and success. Hui who seemed unbeatable. 

Even when he's missing his best friend, he kept the smile on his face. Even when Yanan didn't feel well, he kept the smile on his face. When the younger kids struggled to keep up, he smiled and told them to rest. 

But nobody told him to rest. Behind the smile was the tiredness he refused to acknowledge. When the whole building was dark and empty, he was the only one sitting in his only lit studio, racking his head for inspirations, listening to countless music til he was tired of them and drinking up hundreds of those crappy tasting coffee to keep himself awake. 

He was slowly sending himself into destruction and he had no plans of stopping himself. 

Everyone had their own problems and his member's wellbeing was Shinwon's problem. But it wasn't a problem to him. It was a calling. 

He determinedly woke up in the early hours of the morning just to see Hongseok off, giving him a tight loving hug of good luck and making sure the older was set to go. He whined to the manager to let him watch Jinho's musical and kept pouting and pouting until the man agreed and rewarded the oldest with the job well done with face kisses. He texted to his younger members before they start their schedules and gave them a shout of encouragement, promising to take them out for lunch if they did well. 

Shinwon was one to never take his members for granted and Hui especially was the one he cherished the most. 

The clocked ticked to four am. Most of the Pentagon members were fast asleep, dead to the world except for Shinwon who counted the number of ticks the clock on the wall on his bedroom made. His ears strained to listen for the sound of the front door opening but it never came. 

The tall male sat up, and blindly searched for his jacket in the darkness of his room. When his hand touched the soft clothing, he hurriedly put it on and headed to Hui's room. 

Not to his surprise, it was empty. The sigh that followed after was one of sadness. Hui hadn't been returning home for days at times, only doing so when the members made him. But even then, it was difficult to drag him from the company building. 

Shinwon left the dorm in only his thin T-shirt, shorts and jacket. The night, almost morning, air was chilly but Shinwon shrugged it off and headed to Cube where he knew Hui would be. As he looked up, he could see one of the windows lit up, obviously Hui's room. The silhouette of the older boy could be seen faintly, head bopping to whatever song he was listening to. 

A small, almost sad smile formed on Shinwon's lips as he pressed the password to enter the building. He entered the side lift, counting the numbers as he went to the floor Hui was in. It was dark but it was hardly registered into his brain. Hui occupied his thoughts as he walked through the familiar hallway to Hui's studio. 

The door was unlocked and Shinwon peered into the suddenly bright room. Hui didn't hear him, loud music from his headphones taking over his hearing senses as Shinwon approached the swivel chair where Hui was sitting in. He stiffled his giggles as he watched Hui spin his chair left and right with his butt. 

Shinwon sat on the couch of the tiny room and with his foot, dragged Hui to him. The headphones dropped from Hui's head, clanging loudly onto the floor as Hui was spun to face the handsome face of Shinwon. 

"Shinwon!" he yelled as the younger boy placed both his hands onto the arms of the chair, locking Hui into his seat as he smiled up at the older boy. "What are you doing here?" Hui frowned. 

"Couldn't sleep," Shinwon answered nonchalantly. Hui seemed mad but it was overrun by tiredness. Yet, he tried to keep the firmness in his voice. 

"You should have stayed home even if you couldn't sleep," he sighed, rubbing his left eye. Hui pushed his chair away from Shinwon and turned back to the computer, hand searching for the headphones. 

Shinwon's smile dropped. He stood up and gently removed the headphones from Hui's hand, placing it onto the table. He bent down to hug his hyung from behind the chair, chin resting on the warm comforting shoulder of his leader he adored, loved and respected so much. 

His heart hurt. Next to Hyunggu and Changgu as well, Shinwon was equally as sensitive. But he didn't want his members to see how easily he could break down. At this point, he wanted to cry for Hui, cry for all the struggles Hui faced daily as their leader, cry for all the stress his leader shouldered to be seen as perfect. 

Shinwon's hand moved to cover Hui's eyes and tears dropped from his cheeks. "I miss you, hyung," his voice shook as he rested his head against Hui's cheek. He sniffed as he pressed closer to the older. 

Hui's gave a tiny smile as he removed Shinwon's hand and turned to rest his head on Shinwon's. "Come here," he whispered. Shinwon moved to settle on Hui's lap despite his larger frame and in the quietness of their room, they sat together, fingers intertwined with each other and accepting the peace that came with. It was Hui who rested his head onto Shinwon's shoulder, pressing kisses into the crook of his neck as the younger played with Hui's hair, feeling the slightly rough texture he grew to love. 

"Did I worry you?" Hui asked quietly as he looked up into Shinwon's eyes. Shinwon nodded. 

"Not just me. Everyone else is worried too," he mumbled. Hui traced the skin on Shinwon's hand. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured. The stress on his mind and body slowly took over him, his love for composing and making music felt more like a job and a chore rather than pure enjoyment, the fact he couldn't be there for his nine precious members whom he loved so much was too much for him.

Hui wasn't someone who would cry easily but the accumulated stress and worry had worn him down to little left. The last time he broke down was when he finally got to debut with all his members two years ago when he fought relentlessly so Pentagon would forever be ten. With a member at the brink of possibly being kicked out, another trying to recover from their sudden decline in mental health, most of them crying themselves to sleep at night because of worry and stress, he felt he wasn't enough as a leader. 

Shinwon didn't seem startled when he felt his shirt becoming wet. Instead, he brought Hui closer to him as he kissed the top of his leader's head, shakily stroking his back as they held to each other tightly. 

It was a shared burden among all of them. They all weren't okay. It was painful. The problems that slowly stacked up one at a time with no signs of slowing, that was an idol's life. But it was okay because they had each other. The strong love among them as ten and forever ten was enough to get them going. The love that Hui, Shinwon, Jinho, Hongseok, Hyojong, Yanan, Changgu, Yuto, Hyunggu and Wooseok would never let go. 

When Hui had finally settled down, crying all of his stress away, Shinwon pulled away from the hug, wiping away the tears from his leader's face. His leader hadn't cried for a long time but it was okay. Him crying never made him any less of a leader and Shinwon loved him for that. That whenever he fell, he would get up again. 

Hui smiled through teary eyes. "Thank you," he said quietly. Shinwon shook his head. 

"No. Thank you. For shouldering our burdens and being our leader," Shinwon smiled. He felt himself blushing deep red as he continued. "And I love you for that," he coughed.

Hui laughed, those quiet genuine ones instead of his loud ones. But nevertheless, there was an obvious embarrassment from Hui. Shinwon leaned down to kiss the older on the lips, catching him off guard. "It's true," he said sincerely and never did Hui once doubt his words. 

"I know," he replied, putting all his emotions into those words as he pulled Shinwon back into another kiss. "I love you too and everyone else as well."

Shinwon smiled, a peaceful look on his face. He gave a sudden yawn, startling Hui and making him laugh loudly. "You should get home," he told the younger boy. Shinwon hesitated but Hui's heart fluttered at the bright smile the taller gave when he saved his file and switched off the computer. "And I should get home as well."

Shinwon enjoyed the feeling of Hui's hand in his as they walked home, the sun peeking out from behind the buildings of Seoul. When they got home, Hongseok was already up and waiting for them with a frown. He scolded Shinwon for leaving the house in the middle of the night but in the end pulled both of them into a tight hug and kissing their foreheads before shooing them back to bed. 

Even when time was rough, when everything seemed impossible, Hui's love for his members would never fade and he knew that his dear members would love him til the end. And that was enough for him to fight for. And for Shinwon, as long as his dear leader was happy, he was too.


End file.
